Friendship

Friendship is a funny thing. I read an article that mentions friends are around for certain parts of our lives when they are needed. Some friends come and go and some friends have those certain characteristics that make them lifers. I have been friends with a particular woman for six/seven years and we know practically everything about each other but I find myself wondering lately if our friendship time is up, that it is time for us to move on. I have had my fare share of friendships that ended for one reason or another but I am having a hard time letting this one go. We have been through quite a bit together and she is one of the few people that has been there no matter what through some nasty things but . . . she has also turned and walked a way from me on a few occasions. I am told that I am a loyalist, maybe too much. Without airing things all over the place we have both made mistakes, heck, last week I wasn't a big enough person to allow certain things to roll off my back and I walked out of her "open house." I thanked her for inviting us and then told her that we had to go. We haven't spoke since. I owe her an apology, I know that, and I will give it, but once the apology is said there will be an awkward silence between an explanation and acceptance. The hard thing about this is that somewhere between the explanation and conversation I will feel like I am turning my wheels, like I am not really being listened to and at some point we are going to this whole dance again. I am old enough to have learned to admit my hand in certain things but there isn't a mutual return. I am a firm believer in accepting people just as they are for who they are but with that said there is always room for acceptance of pet peeves, acknowledgement of our wrongs, and maybe an attempt to grow. I will get there.